Monday, October 19, 2009

This is going to be very very difficult. I have drafted this post many many times and couldn't bring myself to post it. I feel I owe an explanation for my complete absence. Our little girl Poppy was born on 30th March on her due date but devastatingly only brightened this world for 7 short hours. She was simply beautiful. She died of an infection quite unexpectedly. A complete shock to all. Words cannot possibly describe the last six months so I am not even going to try. What I can say is that we are finally seeing light at the end of a dark tunnel and finding simple pleasures in life again. I am not going to say anymore as tears are flowing and this is very hard. Maybe I will be back here one day, but right now we still need the comfort, safety and continual support of our most amazing family and friends who have been just incredible and got us through this past six months.
With love xx

33 comments:

Attic24 said...

Aww Janet, its SO LOVELY to have you back in Blogland, you have been very much missed let me tell you.
I know how hard these words must have been to write, you are truly very brave to make this post.
Hoping (rather selfishly) that you might sort of now decide that writing your blog could be Good for The Soul and we can see a little more of you from time to time....I often find myself rather oddly thinking of your Utility room LOL, would love to see more pics of your house, I bet it's just lovely.

My bathroom (fitted in January for goodness sakes) is STILL unfinished, but we have decorators booked to come in beginning of Nov so now excited for then getting all the decorative finishing touches completed, which will include your beautiful pics (currently hanging in my hallway), and some stripy lovliness from the deckchair stripe people.

Anyhoooooooooooo....wanted to say Welcome Back lovely lady, please come back again to us very soon.
Love and hugs
Lucexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shropshire Suz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shropshire Suz said...

Like many l don't know what to say to ease the hurt other than l'm thinking of you and send this little poem with love...

Tiny Angels

Tiny Angels rest your wings
sit with me for awhile.
How I long to hold your hand,
And see your tender smile.
Tiny Angel, look at me,
I want this image clear....
That I will forget your precious face
Is my biggest fear.
Tiny Angel can you tell me,
Why you have gone away?
You weren't here for very long....
Why is it, you couldn't stay?
Tiny Angel shook her head,
"These things I do not know....
But I do know that you love me,
And that I love you so".

Author Unknown

Ulla V. said...

Oh no. I can't say how sorry I am to read that you lost your little daughter.
Nothing I can write will help you and your husband, but I want to let you know, that you will be in my thoughts. And the fact that you wrote this difficult post definitely deserves lots respect and a comment.

From the bottom of my heart I wish you all the best. Take care.

Ulla x

andamento said...

So very sorry to hear about Poppy.

I did write more then deleted it, but thought it better to say something than nothing.

Thinking of you (though I've never met you!)

Anne.

Doda said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you have such supportive family and friends.
May God bless you and comfort you.

kelly said...

janet...i think of you so often. i can't imagine how hard the past months have been for you and typing out the words for us to read is beyond brave.

whenever you are ready to post again please know that we are here to support you in any way we can. and until then i hope can find a little brightness in each day that passes with your loved ones and the memory of your precious Poppy.

sending you love and healing hugs Xx kelly.

oddhayes said...

Janet. My heart breaks for you. This is the most indescribable pain, but just know that you will feel happiness and joy again. You will.

I am sending happiness to you all the way from Canada.

take care.

fionathornton said...

I'm so sorry to read that you only had seven precious days with your beautiful daughter and hope that with the love and support of your family and friends more and more light will flood into the dark tunnel you're currently in.

I have only recently discovered your blog and lovely paintings and I hope that when the time feels right for you, you will come back.

x

fionathornton said...

Sorry, having just read your post again I realise my mistake.

Thinking of you and your family.

x

monda-loves said...

Hi Janet
I have been thinking of you often since our last email exchange, and of course hoping that things were starting to get a bit easier for you. I'm sure it was very hard for you to write this post, but perhaps a further step in the healing process.
Take it easy, take your time and take care.
hugs oxox

Monda
x

mansuetude said...

Bless your sweet beautiful heart!

Be tender with yourselves...

Angie said...

God bless you and your family during this time. I am so sorry Poppy was only with you for a short time. I don't know what else to say. My thoughts are with you and I will send as many blessings as I can.

Little Brown Rabbit said...

Hello Janet
It was only yesterday that I was thinking of you and your family- you've come into my thoughts often since our last email exchange.
I'm so, so, so glad to hear that you are both healing and finding some happiness in your lives again.
As always my thoughts are with you and I do hope that someday you'll start writing posts again as you've been greatly missed.
Lots of Love Em x

smilernpb said...

Hi Janet

I kept checking back here every now and then on your blog, and wondering what was going on in your life (if you remember we 'spoke' back in February I think it was). But the ckecks became less and less frequent as I really didn't think that you would ever return to the land of blog.

At the back of my mind I did wonder if everything was OK with you, and even considered trying to get in touch with you via your website, but then I thought that might seem just a little stalker-ish considering I've never 'met' you! :o)

I am so very, very sorry to hear the news of your baby daughter Poppy.

I honestly cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like for you at this time, although having three miscarriages I know perhaps, a little of what you must be feeling.

With lots of love and best wishes

Nicola

Cara said...
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Cara said...

Oh Janet,

I am so so sorry that the loss of your beloved daughter is the reason for your absence. Life can be incredibly hard sometimes and I wish that there was something I was able to do to give you and your family some respite from the pain and hurt you are feeling.

Cara x

Claudia said...

Dear Janet, I too know that life has sunny sides and shady sides and I am happy for you that you have friends and loving people by your side. Thank you for writing, it helps to understand and so we can all send you our thoughts. Take care of yourself and hopefully we will meet again in blogland. Greetings from Germany Claudia

jamjar said...

Oh my dear, I am so, so sorry to hear your news, I did wonder if something had happened because of your silence. Seven hours or a lifetime, the love is no different, Poppy will live forever in your hearts, My thoughts are with you and your husband. with best wishes, Joy

Attic24 said...

Thinking of you Janet, hope you're ok....will email you hun xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rebecca said...

So sorry to hear such sad news. Pleased that you have good people around you and the sun is beginning to shine a little.

xxx

NanaBeast said...

Blessings upon blessings to you and your husband and family. May your way through this difficult thing be showered with more love than you can imagine.

And much love to dear little Poppy.

Claire said...

I was thrilled to have found your blog after drooling over some of your artwork whilst we were on a lovely holiday in Cornwall.

However, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will be thinking of you. I hope this does not feel too intrusive coming from a stranger. Take care of yourself.
Claire x

JacquiMcR said...

Having popped back often to see if you had begun blogging again, I am truly sorry for what must be unimaginable saddness that you and your husband are feeling. I have no personal experience of what has happended and words seem very futile. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Best wishes - jacquix

Magdalena said...

so sorry...there are no words....

Abigail A. Percy said...

Janet... I have thought of you often and wondered how you all were, and my heart now just breaks to hear your desperately sad news...I am so, so very sorry...

Sending all my love to you and Sean, and to your beautiful wee Poppy as well...

Please look after yourselves and take the very best of care.

<3 xo

Kari said...

Oh, I am so very sorry. I knew that something very sad must have happened. I lost my only baby years ago, and my story is so very similar to yours. My little girl has grown up by my side, not the way I hoped, but nevertheless, she has turned one and then five years old, and fourteen, and twenty-three, and more, for I always know how old she would be. There has never been a time when her loving presence has not been with me. I know your little Poppy will be a shining treasure all your life, but, oh, I do know how very very hard this is, and I will keep you and your husband and your sweet baby in my thoughts and prayers. With love from Kari, on the other side of the world.

julie said...

Oh Janet, i am so so sorry to read this post. I have thought about you often this past year and wondered how you are.

I am sending you much love and best wishes. take care, julie xxx

Lesley said...

Oh Janet, I'm so so sorry to hear your terribly sad news. I wish I knew what to say but words can't express. My heart goes out to you all. x

Lyn said...

Janet,
I too have no words of comfort but know that although we have never met and may never do so, you are in my thoughts.
I hope one day you smile again.
Love
Lyn
xxx

Susan said...

Yes, what Kari said. My twin girls would have turned thirteen this past All Saint's Day. Your daughter will stay with you and yet you will walk into life again - as it seems that you are doing from your most recent post. This is good.
"We shall find peace. We shall hear the angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds."
- Anton Chekhov

Julia said...

Ive often stopped by to admire your work, and Im heartbroken to read about your little daughter.

Sending you love and light, we have never met but I hold you and your family in my thoughts.

Julia x

a mermaids purse said...

my heart goes out to you xxxx
and the sweetest fairy wishes i send to you and your family xxxx